oh god the rape fog is back!
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We're not piercing ourselves today.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
