Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
