Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Randomize
