Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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