Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
