btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
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