I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
