birth control should be required to get into college
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
