Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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