I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
