like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I party with great urgency now.
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