Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
