Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
