she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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