i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
