At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
