My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
