Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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