We're facebook friends in real life
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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