saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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