i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
