well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
