she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
