it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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