Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Randomize
