I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I have feelings that need drinking.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
