Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
