And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
