# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
