Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Just cropdusted the office
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
