Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
