I love black thongs
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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