I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
