wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
