Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
