so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Randomize
