Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
