dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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