Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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