i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
