my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I have aggressive nipples.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
