Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I puked a lego.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
