We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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