i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
