dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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