Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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