Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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