just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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