well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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