I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
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