I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
