i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
