Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
