God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
