So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize