u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize