Say something about gay babies.
We named our party play list daddy issues
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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