so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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