My friends, they love my intelligence
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I am one with the molecules
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
