if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
