im drinking this country out of the recession.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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